So, my facebook status reveals our new family tradition of "Do nothing black Friday". We may in years to come (like last year) go chop down our family Christmas tree on black Friday but other than that, I choose not to leave the house unless I have to that day. Jeremy has to work this Black Friday so he has no choice but hopefully, by the time he leaves for work, the traffic won't be so bad. Everyone will be home balancing check books, budgeting for paying off maxed out credit cards, wrapping their new found treasures or at least hiding them.
But the REAL reason we do not get out on black Friday is this. 1.) People in our town can't drive properly anyway and SO much rudeness and road rage....can you imagine if EVERYONE in town and all the surrounding area's were out on the road today??? 2.) I've gone out twice before on black Friday (yes you read that right TWICE in my 35 year long life!). Both times just added to my my loss of faith in humanity. PEOPLE are RUDE!!!! Very rude for it only be 1 day after we were celebrating Thankfulness. It just eats away at me and I want to back hand all the people that push little old ladies, or run over someones kid with a shopping cart, or takes something from someones cart...or better yet, their HANDS!! 3.) I value my life (read #2 for explanation of how my life may be in danger that day. #1 applies too! 4.) I'm competitive. But I'm also very polite. Those 2 don't mix on Black Friday. Can you just see me sprinting to the back of the store where all the good stuff always is...electronics, luggage, toys...and stopping to apologize and help up everyone I may "accidentally" knock over? I've never needed happy drugs but if Black Friday became something I "had" to do, happy drugs would be needed as well. I'd feel so bad about getting the last big screen TV when the next person in line for it was little old many who had a hard time seeing. Not bad enough to hand it over to him but bad enough to feel guilty every time I turned my newly acquired treasure on. So, Black Friday is not a day that a polite competitive person can keep grasp of her sanity.
The last time I went out on black Friday, I got in line at 12:00AM at home Depot who wasn't going to open until 2:00AM. Yes there was already a line and it was COLD that year. I will say, out of the few places I went, that was the most pleasant of them all and who wants to get out on a day and stand in line at hardware store when you know, if you could be at Victoria Secret, you could get a free bag with goodies in it valued at $50.00 with a $25.00 purchase? I guess that would be me. The woman who wanted to be sure her man got what he wanted that year for Christmas. Tools. But you know what I found really ironic? Naturally, that line had more men in it than women and on that one day a year, men are MUCH more polite than women. That day, for women, is equivalent to the mens national championship college football game or the Super Bowl for pro ball. I see LOTS of ugliness from the men that day!!! But Black Friday,it's crazy!!! A bunch of women fighting over ear muffs! Yes they may be 80% that day but is it really worth a shiner? Or a tooth implant? So, IF I decide to do black Friday in our town again, I think I'll be happy with whatever I can find at Lowe's or Home Depot!
All that being said, I'm going to try my hardest to be home (Oklahoma) next year for Thanksgiving. IF we can make that happen, I wouldn't mind leaving the men home with the kids and going out with my sister and nieces and my bestie or whomever wants to go. A divide and conquer method and then we all meet in the middle with our loot. I could probably only survive this with my sanity if this happened every other year.
My polite sane side and my competitive side battle over this often. The sane side of me is content to sit home and enjoy our "do nothing" day. The competitive side of me wants to get out and see how many of the most desired over all items I can get before they run out and if can get more "targeted" items than anyone else. hahaha
So, in order to keep my faith in humanity (and my sanity), I will stay home with my kids and enjoy Christmas movies, games, and some outdoor play. Next year, when I'm surrounded by all the women of my family, that may be a VERY different story!!
God bless us everyone! (Please, for the love of all that is pure and good, do NOT forget today what it was you were thankful for yesterday!)
~Mary
Friday, November 23, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Are you Ready? It's about to get tough!!! A call to prayer for believers!
I KNOW everyone
has seen the reports going around about what is going on right now in
the Middle East. I just wanted to share a dream I had with you back
when I was a teenager and is currently a reoccurring dream for me. The
one I had as a teenager, it was as if I were actually there. Like I
could feel myself running through streets and hiding in buildings while
bombs and gun fire were going off all around me.
The dream I had as a teenager...wow...where to start. In this dream, I was sitting in my living room floor watching the news. The world was in upheaval. It was a true "religious" war. I don't know what started it but I do know many of the Muslim nations were calling for the death of all Americans. Christian Americans were killed more painfully and brutally if they were caught. Christian Muslims were as well. They were classified as traitors...imbeciles.
The time of year was Fall and it was nearing election time. It seemed as if the span of this dream covered a couple of week time frame....maybe longer. In the dream, I was watching some kind of pageant and the election numbers were running across the bottom of the screen. Then an emergency broadcast from the local news station interrupted and started telling of bombings and shootings. The entire Middle East was at war. With each other, with anyone they came across from other countries, specifically Americans and Christians. Then the location of my dream changed and it was if I were there amongst the fighting. I remember being "protected" by 2 men. It was actually as if these men were showing me something. Warning me of things to come. Almost like they had taken me forward in time. During all this time, we were voting on a "Muslim" president here in America. I know there is controversy over whether our current president is a Muslim or not but I can tell you, I'm reading his book. From the heart the mouth speaks. You should read it. Maybe if more Americans read it, we could get more people praying and you know what the Word says will happen when God's people will humble themselves and pray right? Think about it!!
I never saw the outcome of the election. I just know that so many people were "blinded" by this presidential candidate. So when I saw these things start taking place on 9/11 I got goose bumps. I started praying. I pray for strength for our Christian community as when things get the worst, they will get the blunt of the violence. But we know that. We've been warned of that in Gods Word!
Anyway, as these 2 men take me through the streets, I find out I'm in Israel. These men keep telling me that time is short. Be sure Gods people are ready! I never really thought of the importance of these 2 men or who they might be. In my dream, they were also of middle eastern decent. But in my heart, now, I feel I know who they were. I'll leave that for speculation. I am in NO way trying to predict Christs return. No man (or woman) can know that. Only God knows that but I'm telling you! People!! Get ready!! Because harder times are coming! We haven't seen anything yet!! If you are a believer, prepare your kids! Try and find a way in which they will have peace about it...not fear. I know when I take my last breath here, my eyes will open in glory! I want my kids to see it that way too! I've had dreams about the tribulation and the end times since I was 4 years old! Yes you heard me right FOUR years old!! It's not something I fear for me but I fear for those I love and care about and if they will be strong enough to stand.
This dream is now reoccurring. I can't count the number of times I've had it or very similar dreams in the past month! Now is NOT the time to be living a luke warm life. Now is NOT the time to be living for fleshly desires. Now is NOT the time to be walking the fence. We can't have 1 foot in the world and 1 in Heaven. It doesn't work that way. Jesus said, You are either for me or against me! The word says, "Choose you THIS day whom ye will serve! As for ME AND MY house, we WILL serve the Lord!" Joshua 24:15. We are to be the light of the world. Not just on Sunday! Every day!!! How are others going to see our light if we living in darkness Monday through Saturday and just let our light flicker on Sunday?. Is your heart desiring things of God or things of the world. We are to be in the world, not OF it.
So, if I seem a little bit passionate about my political views, and about my Faith, you are right. I am. God has given me dreams and visions for a reason. I can't NOT share them. I won't NOT share them. I've ran from what God has called me to do long enough for fear of rejection. I've ran because I don't have enough confidence in myself but I'm now standing and I'm now telling you get your homes and hearts in order!!
The dream I had as a teenager...wow...where to start. In this dream, I was sitting in my living room floor watching the news. The world was in upheaval. It was a true "religious" war. I don't know what started it but I do know many of the Muslim nations were calling for the death of all Americans. Christian Americans were killed more painfully and brutally if they were caught. Christian Muslims were as well. They were classified as traitors...imbeciles.
The time of year was Fall and it was nearing election time. It seemed as if the span of this dream covered a couple of week time frame....maybe longer. In the dream, I was watching some kind of pageant and the election numbers were running across the bottom of the screen. Then an emergency broadcast from the local news station interrupted and started telling of bombings and shootings. The entire Middle East was at war. With each other, with anyone they came across from other countries, specifically Americans and Christians. Then the location of my dream changed and it was if I were there amongst the fighting. I remember being "protected" by 2 men. It was actually as if these men were showing me something. Warning me of things to come. Almost like they had taken me forward in time. During all this time, we were voting on a "Muslim" president here in America. I know there is controversy over whether our current president is a Muslim or not but I can tell you, I'm reading his book. From the heart the mouth speaks. You should read it. Maybe if more Americans read it, we could get more people praying and you know what the Word says will happen when God's people will humble themselves and pray right? Think about it!!
I never saw the outcome of the election. I just know that so many people were "blinded" by this presidential candidate. So when I saw these things start taking place on 9/11 I got goose bumps. I started praying. I pray for strength for our Christian community as when things get the worst, they will get the blunt of the violence. But we know that. We've been warned of that in Gods Word!
Anyway, as these 2 men take me through the streets, I find out I'm in Israel. These men keep telling me that time is short. Be sure Gods people are ready! I never really thought of the importance of these 2 men or who they might be. In my dream, they were also of middle eastern decent. But in my heart, now, I feel I know who they were. I'll leave that for speculation. I am in NO way trying to predict Christs return. No man (or woman) can know that. Only God knows that but I'm telling you! People!! Get ready!! Because harder times are coming! We haven't seen anything yet!! If you are a believer, prepare your kids! Try and find a way in which they will have peace about it...not fear. I know when I take my last breath here, my eyes will open in glory! I want my kids to see it that way too! I've had dreams about the tribulation and the end times since I was 4 years old! Yes you heard me right FOUR years old!! It's not something I fear for me but I fear for those I love and care about and if they will be strong enough to stand.
This dream is now reoccurring. I can't count the number of times I've had it or very similar dreams in the past month! Now is NOT the time to be living a luke warm life. Now is NOT the time to be living for fleshly desires. Now is NOT the time to be walking the fence. We can't have 1 foot in the world and 1 in Heaven. It doesn't work that way. Jesus said, You are either for me or against me! The word says, "Choose you THIS day whom ye will serve! As for ME AND MY house, we WILL serve the Lord!" Joshua 24:15. We are to be the light of the world. Not just on Sunday! Every day!!! How are others going to see our light if we living in darkness Monday through Saturday and just let our light flicker on Sunday?. Is your heart desiring things of God or things of the world. We are to be in the world, not OF it.
So, if I seem a little bit passionate about my political views, and about my Faith, you are right. I am. God has given me dreams and visions for a reason. I can't NOT share them. I won't NOT share them. I've ran from what God has called me to do long enough for fear of rejection. I've ran because I don't have enough confidence in myself but I'm now standing and I'm now telling you get your homes and hearts in order!!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Parenting Backward! No wonder it isn't working. Another AH HA moment!
Today in Sunday
School we started a new Study and we were talking about how first God
establishes His Authority, then He blesses, then he gives directions or
commands. I see Gods relationship with us and Our relationship with our
Children as a mirror effect. Meaning, the way God "parents" us or
guides us is how we should parent and guide our children.
Our teacher used the example of the children of Israel to go along with the establish authority, bless, direct. God did not tell them, "here are the 10 commandments. Prove to me that you can follow them first and THEN I will lead you out of slavery." He established His authority to Pharaoh, the Egyptians, and the Israelites by showing He IS God. He then led the children of Israel out of bondage and THEN gave them the law.
Too often, we don't "establish" our authority as parents. We COMMAND that we are the authority instead of leading by example. Then we ORDER our kids to do this or do that and then IF you do this or do that THEN I will bless you with this or that.
A light bulb went on in my head. If we were to establish our authority by leading by example and explaining our actions to our kids and then blessed our kids they would in turn be inclined to follow direction. Naturally they are kids and will buck the system at times. Just like the children of Israel complained even though they had just been delivered from the hand Pharaoh and the Egyptians. They lost focus of God. Our children are children and will lose focus. However, instead of saying if you don't do this or don't do that, you don't get this or that. How about do something nice for your kids or give them words of affirmation before giving them a command. I think we'll find more times than not, things will go much more smoothly. It's harder as parents to change that cycle because as humans we are programmed to find out whats in it for me before completing a task and in turn, we use that in our parenting skills as well and "bribe" our kids to do what they should be doing in the first place. Clean your room and then you can go out and play. How about instead we start approaching it like, "You may go out and play for 30 minutes." 30 minutes later call them and thank them for playing so nicely together and tell them it is now time to go clean there room. I'm sure until everyone gets used to it there will still be some fighting among the troops but I can see now, by seeing Gods example, how changing the way we parent can completely change the dynamic of a home. I'm anxious to put this to test. I'm just trying to come up with examples of "blessing" our children. I have some ideas in mind. I'm just working out the details in my mind and coming up with a game plan. If we wait to give direction until direction is needed, more often than not, we are doing more harm than good. Lead by example and then our children know why we do this and why we do that. They learn their boundaries and learn to live together peaceably as opposed to living in strife and anger.
We (Jeremy and I) are too quick to lose our cool with our children. I don't like to yell but when you have 3 kids all yelling at each other, you tell yourself the only way you are going to be heard is to yell above them. That does nothing but make them shut you out, raise your blood pressure and everyone walks away in an ill mood. SO, we are working on Establishing our authority, blessing, and then giving direction. :)
Just something God laid on my heart today and hopefully it speaks to someone else too!
God bless,~Mary
Our teacher used the example of the children of Israel to go along with the establish authority, bless, direct. God did not tell them, "here are the 10 commandments. Prove to me that you can follow them first and THEN I will lead you out of slavery." He established His authority to Pharaoh, the Egyptians, and the Israelites by showing He IS God. He then led the children of Israel out of bondage and THEN gave them the law.
Too often, we don't "establish" our authority as parents. We COMMAND that we are the authority instead of leading by example. Then we ORDER our kids to do this or do that and then IF you do this or do that THEN I will bless you with this or that.
A light bulb went on in my head. If we were to establish our authority by leading by example and explaining our actions to our kids and then blessed our kids they would in turn be inclined to follow direction. Naturally they are kids and will buck the system at times. Just like the children of Israel complained even though they had just been delivered from the hand Pharaoh and the Egyptians. They lost focus of God. Our children are children and will lose focus. However, instead of saying if you don't do this or don't do that, you don't get this or that. How about do something nice for your kids or give them words of affirmation before giving them a command. I think we'll find more times than not, things will go much more smoothly. It's harder as parents to change that cycle because as humans we are programmed to find out whats in it for me before completing a task and in turn, we use that in our parenting skills as well and "bribe" our kids to do what they should be doing in the first place. Clean your room and then you can go out and play. How about instead we start approaching it like, "You may go out and play for 30 minutes." 30 minutes later call them and thank them for playing so nicely together and tell them it is now time to go clean there room. I'm sure until everyone gets used to it there will still be some fighting among the troops but I can see now, by seeing Gods example, how changing the way we parent can completely change the dynamic of a home. I'm anxious to put this to test. I'm just trying to come up with examples of "blessing" our children. I have some ideas in mind. I'm just working out the details in my mind and coming up with a game plan. If we wait to give direction until direction is needed, more often than not, we are doing more harm than good. Lead by example and then our children know why we do this and why we do that. They learn their boundaries and learn to live together peaceably as opposed to living in strife and anger.
We (Jeremy and I) are too quick to lose our cool with our children. I don't like to yell but when you have 3 kids all yelling at each other, you tell yourself the only way you are going to be heard is to yell above them. That does nothing but make them shut you out, raise your blood pressure and everyone walks away in an ill mood. SO, we are working on Establishing our authority, blessing, and then giving direction. :)
Just something God laid on my heart today and hopefully it speaks to someone else too!
God bless,~Mary
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Dreams......a deeper meaning and a message to Christians
I'm one who
believes that sometimes, dreams are trying to tell us something. I also
believe that some of our dreams really are out of body experiences.
Have you ever had those dreams where you could feel, smell, taste what
is going on and the next morning felt as if you hadn't slept all night?
I've been having more and more of those and I think God is trying to
prepare me for something.
When I was a little girl, I often dreamed of Christians being kill for not denying Christ. These dreams started at such an early age that no one can claim I was being "infiltrated" or "Brain washed" by my parents. I'm talking 3 and 4 years old. At that age, I was believed to not have an "understanding" of such things. I was let to be a kid and do kids things. I wasn't sat at a table and told about what we'll one day go through or what my parents believed we would one day go through. Church considered me too young to be a part of the "left behind" movie nights and I was shuffled off to the nursery but even at such a young age, I would often dream of being shot or beheaded for standing my ground and not denying Christ or for being the child of parents that stood their ground. I often dreamed of the rapture happening. These dreams never scared me. I felt I was being prepared and given peace for what would one day come. They always made me aware of my surroundings and my decisions. I watched more intensely the world change before my eyes. I knew when I heard the story of Roe vs Wade that even when those involved didn't know, it was also a spiritual battle. Not just a "rights" battle. I remember when we stopped praying before class in school and I knew it was a spiritual battle.
I SAW spiritual warfare happen in my own home. I do not feel robbed of my childhood because of this. I still had fun and climbed tree's and splashed in mud puddles and made "salad" (a concoction of leaves and rolly pollie's, and acorns, and sticks....) to go with our mud pies. I rode my bike until it was pitch black out. I went to neighbor kids birthday parties and went swimming almost everyday of the Summer. I had a normal, healthy childhood. I just saw things and felt things. I believe on some level, children are more in tune with the spiritual realm. They are innocent and pure and see things for what they are. It's black and white. No grey area. They listen more and aren't so rushed. It's amazing what you can hear when you simplify life, slow down, and listen.
I still remember details of some of the "dreams" I had as a child. I remember standing there and suddenly feeling my feet get light beneath me as I arose and met Jesus in the sky. It gives me goosebumps and brings happy and homesick tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Well, I don't remember what age I was but sometime in my adulthood. fairly early on I believe....maybe mid to late 20's, I stopped having the dreams so frequently. When I stop to think about it, I think it's when my life got so busy I wasn't focused on God as much. I was working 2 jobs...going to CNA school, focusing on my body image and spending my awake hours at the gym. Worrying about relationships gone bad or new relationships. When my life started focusing on me and my needs instead of God and the needs of others. When I was no longer listening......
Well recently, I've started having dreams again. I mean EVERY NIGHT for the past 2-3 weeks, I'm having dreams of some sort. Most of which I can feel a deeper spiritual meaning. I'm sure most of you read my LONG status the other day about being prepared for what's to come and watching out for wolves in sheep's clothing? Well my dream affected me so deeply I was physically ill and burdened to pray about it. I've only told 1 person this dream so far because it was just a difficult one for me to experience. It wasn't much different from the ones I had as a kid but I was more actively involved in it and I will now share it with you.
The dream started off with me being in a van with a group of people from Church. When I say Church, it doesn't mean the Church I currently attend or the Church I grew up in. A lot of times, my dreams will have another Church and other people...often people I don't know in real life and it's as they are a general representation of things to come as opposed to giving me specifics. This was no different for the most part. In fact, in most of these dreams, my family isn't even in them. It's as if I'm truly experiencing an out of body experience and I'm hovering watching things happen or I temporarily take on the identity of someone else....where I still feel like me but the me in the dream has no memories of my current in real life family and events...I'm me but I'm someone else if that makes sense? Well in this dream I was in one of 3 vehicles car pooling back from a missions trip or project. I don't know exactly what we had done but it was something within driving distance. We were in the lead vehicle and I was with one of the "leaders" of the Church. I got the impression he was the music minister or a deacon....someone really involved in the church but he wasn't the pastor. We would often stop for break or to wait for one of the other vehicles to catch up and when we did, this man carried on normal conversations with us and seemed like he was just fine. At one point we stop and he even buys ice cream for those of us in his van (we were waiting for the other 2 vehicles to catch up). The trip was pleasant and filled with conversation about the what we had just experienced and excitement for the future and what God had in store.
We get back to the Church and that's when things drastically change. We all start off in a large main room and the "leader" wants us to wait for him for a few minutes. He needs to go "freshen" up. He goes to his office and changes his clothes. he comes back wearing all black. It felt unexpected but not alarming. Black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, black boots. When he walks into the room it was as if an evil presence entered with him. His whole countenance changed. (To fill in a detail I missed earlier, there was one family on the trip I DO recognize from real life. A good friend of mine and her husband and kids.) This man starts separating us. The group that rode with him was to remain in the room we were all in and everyone else was to go to a large room down the hall. Now that I'm recalling it again, this part of this Church was laid out just like the children's wing of the Church I grew up in. A long hall with large rooms on either side. We all looked puzzled and wasn't sure what was going on but we trusted this man and we obliged. Suddenly things got VERY different. The man went into a rage. I'm not even sure what about but I knew this man was not who we all thought he was. He had been deceiving us all for a long time and his true colors were now coming out. He walks into one of the rooms across the hall and emerges with what appeared to be some sort of semi automatic gun. Reminded me somewhat of snipers rifle. He had a machine gun in the other hand. I began praying....out loud. I was sobbing and worried about everyone in both rooms. He locked the door closest to the exit of the church and left the other door open as he went back and forth between rooms. He never truly left the hall so that he could keep an eye on both groups. For some reason, he chose me as his "aid" I guess you can say. He would give me orders. Keep them all quiet. Don't let them leave. Come with me. Get back in the room. I just remember feeling like his "gopher" and didn't understand it. He asked me to come with him and I did and he stood in the doorway of the room where everyone who wasn't riding in his van was. He asked a man to stand up. The man stood. He then asked the man to deny Christ. The man looked just as confused as I was and I think at first, he thought, "Oh this is a test...He's making us practice what we believe and what we tell others...to stand our ground and to be strong." but how wrong he was. The man refused and the next thing I know I hear the loudest most awful noise. Like a firework had gone off in my ear only much louder. The man asked to renounce Christ was on the floor. Blood spilling from his head. The room was filled with screams and cries. There were children in this room too. I don't remember children being on the trip so maybe they were at the Church with a child care worker waiting on us to return...not sure. This man we had all once trusted now appeared so evil and full of hate. He sends me back to "my room". The next thing I know I hear him holler my name. I step out into the hall and he sends a little boy running to me. I realized I knew this little boy. I knew his parents. His mom was a dear friend of mine and I scoop him up and start sobbing. I wrap him in my arms hugging him and not wanting to let him go. Once we were safely in our room, I hear my name being hollered again. I put the little boy in the arms of another lady and step into the hall. He motions me to come to him so I do. As I get to the door of the room where this nightmare is taking place, he takes a baby bundled up from someone's hand, I notice it's the sibling of the little boy that just ran to me and my heart sank. I knew what was about to happen. He handed me the baby and said, "when this is all over with, you need to find these kids a new home." How or why he was concerned about the safety of 2 children, I'm not sure but in one sense, it was a relief...in another, it was a nightmare. I KNEW these kids were about to lose their parents. I knew I would have to call up my friends parents with the news and deliver their grand babies safely to them. I cuddle this baby close to me and walk back to the room sobbing. Why has this man done this. It wasn't much longer and I start hearing more gun shots. The little boy tries to run to his mom and dad. I catch him the first time but his second attempt is successful. He escapes and I take off after him with his sibling in my hands. The little boy runs past the gunman and over to his mom and dad who are hovered down in a corner crying. I was thankful that at the moment they were still alive but the gunman was occupied with someone else at the moment being asked to deny Christ. I see a chance and I hold the baby down and told them kiss the baby or hug the baby or say their goodbyes...whatever they needed to do. They mouthed the words "thank you" and with tears rolling down their face kissed their little ones, told them to be strong, and that they would see them again one day. The gunman notices what has happened and tells me to "get the kids out of here". I manage to pry the little boy from his mothers arms and with tears in our eyes, I walk him back to our room. I hear what felt like an unending amount of gun fire. After that, details are a little sketchy as I had started waking up. I do know I was allowed to leave with 2 kids in tow. I still don't know why he "favored" those that were in his van. Maybe it was because he heard so many personal details about our lives and we became personified to him...he saw us as someone other than "those Christians..." I really don't know.
What I DO know is from the moment I awoke until just yesterday, I have been SO nauseated. I've had the symptoms of a "tummy bug" if I would eat or drink anything. I couldn't really talk about the dream....because I felt I had LIVED it. I was there! I wasn't just asleep laying in my bed. My spirit had been shown something.
I truly believe our Country.....Especially the Christians in our Country are about to go through some very trying times. We will have to stand strong. We will be persecuted and hated. Also be vigilant and alert. PRAY!!! Be aware of those who say they are servants and Shepherds of Gods Children. We will be seeing wolves in sheep's clothing. Listen to your spirit. Listen to the voice of God. Train your children to be able to stand strong even when things look scary.
I've had a really difficult time with this impending election in November and here are my true feelings and thoughts on it. 1.) don't ever back down. VOTE!!! If you don't like what's going on now, vote for change. but 2.) I feel no matter how we vote, things are going to keep going down hill. I think Obama will be re-elected. Maybe not legally but look how many dead people voted last election.
Do I think Obama is the anti Christ? Absolutely not. The anti-christ will be trusted by more.....by most. Even Christians in the beginning. Obama has lost supporters. Do I think he wants to lead us to a 1 world government or that he believes in socialism and communism? Absolutely!! If you've studied Marxism at all and the list of what it means to be a marxist and done any amount of research on him or read any part of the books he's written, I have no doubt in my mind that he wants our country to become socialist. Do I think he's inherently evil? No not necessarily. I think he's a product of his upbringing and that he truly believes that it's a "better" way. I think he's deceived as well.
What I DO know is that as Christians, we have to be prepared for anything. Our kids need to be able to stand strong!
This was just 1 of my many dreams and experiences. I have another one that makes me smile. I feel it was preparing me for heaven. If I can explain it in the proper way, I will put it in a note at some point as well. Be strong and get prayed up and prepared! War is coming....if not a physical war, for sure a spiritual one!
God bless!
Mary
When I was a little girl, I often dreamed of Christians being kill for not denying Christ. These dreams started at such an early age that no one can claim I was being "infiltrated" or "Brain washed" by my parents. I'm talking 3 and 4 years old. At that age, I was believed to not have an "understanding" of such things. I was let to be a kid and do kids things. I wasn't sat at a table and told about what we'll one day go through or what my parents believed we would one day go through. Church considered me too young to be a part of the "left behind" movie nights and I was shuffled off to the nursery but even at such a young age, I would often dream of being shot or beheaded for standing my ground and not denying Christ or for being the child of parents that stood their ground. I often dreamed of the rapture happening. These dreams never scared me. I felt I was being prepared and given peace for what would one day come. They always made me aware of my surroundings and my decisions. I watched more intensely the world change before my eyes. I knew when I heard the story of Roe vs Wade that even when those involved didn't know, it was also a spiritual battle. Not just a "rights" battle. I remember when we stopped praying before class in school and I knew it was a spiritual battle.
I SAW spiritual warfare happen in my own home. I do not feel robbed of my childhood because of this. I still had fun and climbed tree's and splashed in mud puddles and made "salad" (a concoction of leaves and rolly pollie's, and acorns, and sticks....) to go with our mud pies. I rode my bike until it was pitch black out. I went to neighbor kids birthday parties and went swimming almost everyday of the Summer. I had a normal, healthy childhood. I just saw things and felt things. I believe on some level, children are more in tune with the spiritual realm. They are innocent and pure and see things for what they are. It's black and white. No grey area. They listen more and aren't so rushed. It's amazing what you can hear when you simplify life, slow down, and listen.
I still remember details of some of the "dreams" I had as a child. I remember standing there and suddenly feeling my feet get light beneath me as I arose and met Jesus in the sky. It gives me goosebumps and brings happy and homesick tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Well, I don't remember what age I was but sometime in my adulthood. fairly early on I believe....maybe mid to late 20's, I stopped having the dreams so frequently. When I stop to think about it, I think it's when my life got so busy I wasn't focused on God as much. I was working 2 jobs...going to CNA school, focusing on my body image and spending my awake hours at the gym. Worrying about relationships gone bad or new relationships. When my life started focusing on me and my needs instead of God and the needs of others. When I was no longer listening......
Well recently, I've started having dreams again. I mean EVERY NIGHT for the past 2-3 weeks, I'm having dreams of some sort. Most of which I can feel a deeper spiritual meaning. I'm sure most of you read my LONG status the other day about being prepared for what's to come and watching out for wolves in sheep's clothing? Well my dream affected me so deeply I was physically ill and burdened to pray about it. I've only told 1 person this dream so far because it was just a difficult one for me to experience. It wasn't much different from the ones I had as a kid but I was more actively involved in it and I will now share it with you.
The dream started off with me being in a van with a group of people from Church. When I say Church, it doesn't mean the Church I currently attend or the Church I grew up in. A lot of times, my dreams will have another Church and other people...often people I don't know in real life and it's as they are a general representation of things to come as opposed to giving me specifics. This was no different for the most part. In fact, in most of these dreams, my family isn't even in them. It's as if I'm truly experiencing an out of body experience and I'm hovering watching things happen or I temporarily take on the identity of someone else....where I still feel like me but the me in the dream has no memories of my current in real life family and events...I'm me but I'm someone else if that makes sense? Well in this dream I was in one of 3 vehicles car pooling back from a missions trip or project. I don't know exactly what we had done but it was something within driving distance. We were in the lead vehicle and I was with one of the "leaders" of the Church. I got the impression he was the music minister or a deacon....someone really involved in the church but he wasn't the pastor. We would often stop for break or to wait for one of the other vehicles to catch up and when we did, this man carried on normal conversations with us and seemed like he was just fine. At one point we stop and he even buys ice cream for those of us in his van (we were waiting for the other 2 vehicles to catch up). The trip was pleasant and filled with conversation about the what we had just experienced and excitement for the future and what God had in store.
We get back to the Church and that's when things drastically change. We all start off in a large main room and the "leader" wants us to wait for him for a few minutes. He needs to go "freshen" up. He goes to his office and changes his clothes. he comes back wearing all black. It felt unexpected but not alarming. Black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, black boots. When he walks into the room it was as if an evil presence entered with him. His whole countenance changed. (To fill in a detail I missed earlier, there was one family on the trip I DO recognize from real life. A good friend of mine and her husband and kids.) This man starts separating us. The group that rode with him was to remain in the room we were all in and everyone else was to go to a large room down the hall. Now that I'm recalling it again, this part of this Church was laid out just like the children's wing of the Church I grew up in. A long hall with large rooms on either side. We all looked puzzled and wasn't sure what was going on but we trusted this man and we obliged. Suddenly things got VERY different. The man went into a rage. I'm not even sure what about but I knew this man was not who we all thought he was. He had been deceiving us all for a long time and his true colors were now coming out. He walks into one of the rooms across the hall and emerges with what appeared to be some sort of semi automatic gun. Reminded me somewhat of snipers rifle. He had a machine gun in the other hand. I began praying....out loud. I was sobbing and worried about everyone in both rooms. He locked the door closest to the exit of the church and left the other door open as he went back and forth between rooms. He never truly left the hall so that he could keep an eye on both groups. For some reason, he chose me as his "aid" I guess you can say. He would give me orders. Keep them all quiet. Don't let them leave. Come with me. Get back in the room. I just remember feeling like his "gopher" and didn't understand it. He asked me to come with him and I did and he stood in the doorway of the room where everyone who wasn't riding in his van was. He asked a man to stand up. The man stood. He then asked the man to deny Christ. The man looked just as confused as I was and I think at first, he thought, "Oh this is a test...He's making us practice what we believe and what we tell others...to stand our ground and to be strong." but how wrong he was. The man refused and the next thing I know I hear the loudest most awful noise. Like a firework had gone off in my ear only much louder. The man asked to renounce Christ was on the floor. Blood spilling from his head. The room was filled with screams and cries. There were children in this room too. I don't remember children being on the trip so maybe they were at the Church with a child care worker waiting on us to return...not sure. This man we had all once trusted now appeared so evil and full of hate. He sends me back to "my room". The next thing I know I hear him holler my name. I step out into the hall and he sends a little boy running to me. I realized I knew this little boy. I knew his parents. His mom was a dear friend of mine and I scoop him up and start sobbing. I wrap him in my arms hugging him and not wanting to let him go. Once we were safely in our room, I hear my name being hollered again. I put the little boy in the arms of another lady and step into the hall. He motions me to come to him so I do. As I get to the door of the room where this nightmare is taking place, he takes a baby bundled up from someone's hand, I notice it's the sibling of the little boy that just ran to me and my heart sank. I knew what was about to happen. He handed me the baby and said, "when this is all over with, you need to find these kids a new home." How or why he was concerned about the safety of 2 children, I'm not sure but in one sense, it was a relief...in another, it was a nightmare. I KNEW these kids were about to lose their parents. I knew I would have to call up my friends parents with the news and deliver their grand babies safely to them. I cuddle this baby close to me and walk back to the room sobbing. Why has this man done this. It wasn't much longer and I start hearing more gun shots. The little boy tries to run to his mom and dad. I catch him the first time but his second attempt is successful. He escapes and I take off after him with his sibling in my hands. The little boy runs past the gunman and over to his mom and dad who are hovered down in a corner crying. I was thankful that at the moment they were still alive but the gunman was occupied with someone else at the moment being asked to deny Christ. I see a chance and I hold the baby down and told them kiss the baby or hug the baby or say their goodbyes...whatever they needed to do. They mouthed the words "thank you" and with tears rolling down their face kissed their little ones, told them to be strong, and that they would see them again one day. The gunman notices what has happened and tells me to "get the kids out of here". I manage to pry the little boy from his mothers arms and with tears in our eyes, I walk him back to our room. I hear what felt like an unending amount of gun fire. After that, details are a little sketchy as I had started waking up. I do know I was allowed to leave with 2 kids in tow. I still don't know why he "favored" those that were in his van. Maybe it was because he heard so many personal details about our lives and we became personified to him...he saw us as someone other than "those Christians..." I really don't know.
What I DO know is from the moment I awoke until just yesterday, I have been SO nauseated. I've had the symptoms of a "tummy bug" if I would eat or drink anything. I couldn't really talk about the dream....because I felt I had LIVED it. I was there! I wasn't just asleep laying in my bed. My spirit had been shown something.
I truly believe our Country.....Especially the Christians in our Country are about to go through some very trying times. We will have to stand strong. We will be persecuted and hated. Also be vigilant and alert. PRAY!!! Be aware of those who say they are servants and Shepherds of Gods Children. We will be seeing wolves in sheep's clothing. Listen to your spirit. Listen to the voice of God. Train your children to be able to stand strong even when things look scary.
I've had a really difficult time with this impending election in November and here are my true feelings and thoughts on it. 1.) don't ever back down. VOTE!!! If you don't like what's going on now, vote for change. but 2.) I feel no matter how we vote, things are going to keep going down hill. I think Obama will be re-elected. Maybe not legally but look how many dead people voted last election.
Do I think Obama is the anti Christ? Absolutely not. The anti-christ will be trusted by more.....by most. Even Christians in the beginning. Obama has lost supporters. Do I think he wants to lead us to a 1 world government or that he believes in socialism and communism? Absolutely!! If you've studied Marxism at all and the list of what it means to be a marxist and done any amount of research on him or read any part of the books he's written, I have no doubt in my mind that he wants our country to become socialist. Do I think he's inherently evil? No not necessarily. I think he's a product of his upbringing and that he truly believes that it's a "better" way. I think he's deceived as well.
What I DO know is that as Christians, we have to be prepared for anything. Our kids need to be able to stand strong!
This was just 1 of my many dreams and experiences. I have another one that makes me smile. I feel it was preparing me for heaven. If I can explain it in the proper way, I will put it in a note at some point as well. Be strong and get prayed up and prepared! War is coming....if not a physical war, for sure a spiritual one!
God bless!
Mary
Thursday, July 26, 2012
sometimes water IS thicker than blood....
Since the day she was born, Stevi and I have been best friends. Our moms are best friends so we were raised together. It's an amazing blessing to have a friend like that and I sometimes am sad when each school year, my daughters best friend changes. From what I gather of other children that is normal but I always wanted her to have a friend like had and still have. Someone that goes through everything together. Even those times you aren't there for each you, are still hurt when they hurt and rejoice when they rejoice. Most people don't understand our relationship unless they've had a best friend since birth as well. To me, she is so much more than a friend. She is my sister! My biological sisters were quite a bit older than me so we weren't always close during my younger years but Stevi and I, we were like pea's and carrot's! :) As close as we were, we still as different as night and day. As was the out spoken and social butterfly. She was quiet and humble and didn't always like being around a lot of people. I LOVED sports and church camps and overnight youth outings. She preferred to be at home. Our family dynamic was different. But that didn't matter. We always have been and always will be best friends. We would stay up late at night planning our future. We were going to grow up, meet our prince charmings, get married and we'd all move to Texas and live on a ranch! One of us would have the upstairs with our family and one would have the downstairs. Sometimes I wish we would have written down our plans so we could look back on them now and read them and laugh. We were young, dreamers, and the world was our oyster! I never could stand going to Southerland Lumber or Home Depot, or Lowes. Unless Stevi was with me. Why did that make a difference? I'll tell you why. In your young minds and imaginations, every isle we went down was a new opportunity to "plan" our dream home. We loved the idea of claw foot tubs and pull chain toilets. We'd pick out whimsical light fixtures and choose our wall colors. It was different when we were together because then, we were shopping for US! Not our everyday in real life homes because a pipe busted. We were the same way at the grocery story. There were times we'd be at the grocery store with our moms and the whole way through the story we were so excited and had great anticipation of going down the baby isle. Yes you heard right. The isle full of diapers, wipes, onesies, pacifiers, bottles, etc. We had no interest in the toy isle. JUST the baby isle because we could shop for our "babies". (Our dolls of course!). Our babies had real diapers. They had real bottles and real pacies. Our babies had real baby brushes. This wasn't because we were spoiled. But we had huge imaginations and in all honestly, back then, it was cheaper to buy the real deals than the toy ones. We both came from low income families so that was always a factor.
As we got older, there was a time we grew apart. Not because we didn't still care and love each other but life just happened. I was spending all my time in sports and worrying about a sick daddy and she had life of her own going on. There were a couple of tragic events that took place in our lives...important people lost and we both had our dating lives. We would catch up on the phone occasionally (I still remember her childhood number!) :) When the time comes for us to marry, that's when life started pulling us back together and now, it feels like we were never apart. You know you have a life long friend when years can go by and when you are together again, you can pick up where you left off.
I thank God for crossing our moms paths all those years ago! Everyone should be so blessed as to have a friend that isn't only a friend...but a sister.
(In telling my life story, I had to stop and write about our friendship because it's always been an important party of my life!) <3
As we got older, there was a time we grew apart. Not because we didn't still care and love each other but life just happened. I was spending all my time in sports and worrying about a sick daddy and she had life of her own going on. There were a couple of tragic events that took place in our lives...important people lost and we both had our dating lives. We would catch up on the phone occasionally (I still remember her childhood number!) :) When the time comes for us to marry, that's when life started pulling us back together and now, it feels like we were never apart. You know you have a life long friend when years can go by and when you are together again, you can pick up where you left off.
I thank God for crossing our moms paths all those years ago! Everyone should be so blessed as to have a friend that isn't only a friend...but a sister.
(In telling my life story, I had to stop and write about our friendship because it's always been an important party of my life!) <3
Sunday, July 22, 2012
just an ordinary girl with a big dream.....
A post on my wall on facebook made me realize that all too often, people misunderstand other people. They don't understand why someone feels the way they do or why they believe the way they do. A lot of hurt feelings happen over misunderstandings and I've felt like my life has been an open book. I've posted the good, bad, and the ugly that has happened to me but after reading back over it, it's been in bits and pieces. So with that in mind, I've decided to start from the beginning. Please keep in mind that anything I say in this blog are my true feelings....How I perceived my life and anything that took place in it and is not meant to hurt any of my family or friends feelings. I'm just keeping it real.
I really had an ordinary life. Life was care free, happy,amazing. My earliest memories start back at 2 or 3. Though I don't remember much that early, there are some things I do remember. I came from what we always referred to as a "Yours, mine, and ours" family. Meaning, my dad had been married before and had a son and a daughter. My mom had been married before and had a daughter and a son. Their first marriages broke up. They lived on the same street. An East side neighborhood. After much pursuing by my father, my mother started dating him. They get married and merge two families. It wasn't much longer and I joined the crew. My earlier years were very happy and carefree. Exciting and fun. I was only a toddler so of course, to me, life was grand. I had a back yard to play in, cousins to play with, neighborhood kids to play with.
But the more I think about it, other than pictures and holidays and Sundays. I don't have too many memories of my daddy at that young of age (2-3). I have plenty of my mom, my brothers, one of my sisters, my Aunt and my cousins (some of them lived with us and or spent many nights with us during this time). My dad was a very hard working man. We were a low income family. My mom had in home daycare so she could be home for us prior to going to school and then we we left for school and returned home. The way my parents raised us, I never realized just how "low income" we were. We had hand me down clothes, there was a period we were on food stamps. We didn't eat out and we never had big lavish things or new cars. I don't recall too many of our cars even having air conditioning. Now that I'm grown, I hear stories from my mom...how there were times they didn't know where our next meal would come from.
My dad was a high school drop out. He had a rough life himself. His dad died when he was 7 and my Grandma did the best he could raising him and his 3 siblings. When I was young my dad had 3 jobs. He worked at a machine shop, he had a pest control business and I don't recall what the other job was. 2 of his jobs were full time. (I think the machine shop and the pest control). I recall trying to stay up until midnight or later so I could kiss my daddy and tell him goodnight. Most nights I succeeded.
My dad was 12 years older than my mom so when I was born, my siblings were somewhere in the range of 16 or 17 (my oldest brother), 14 or 15 (My oldest sister), 8 (my other big sister), and 6 (my other big brother). So at times, there were 7 people in a 3 bedroom 1 bath home. As a little kid, it didn't feel crowded at all but why would it? I was born into that. :) And it was never just the 7 of us. At any given time I had an Aunt or an Uncle or cousins living with us as well. My mom was one of 8 kids so some of her siblings were around the age of my older siblings. When they would reach the age that they would leave home, our place seemed to be the popular resting spot. :) It was a home full of love....that is for sure.
It's amazing how a family can have so little (monetarily) and yet the children feel rich. Of course that is all in how we perceive things when we are young. Everything is fresh and exciting and new and innocent until someone tells you different or crushes your imagination or dreams. We very rarely ate out. We couldn't afford it. We didn't have cable TV. We had the basic 3 or 4 (channels 2,6,8, and 11)channels with bunny ear antenna's that we watched on a TV my parents had saved their pocket change for YEARS to buy. I remember the rolling of the coins. It was a family affair. If I remember correctly, once they were all counted out and rolled, they were taken to K-mart to make the "big purchase". It was SOO exciting. It was exciting to maneuver the antenna's just right so we could get reception. Sometimes it would require tin foil on the antenna's. lol
I grew up in a Christian home. My parents had us in Church every time the doors were opened. Prayer meeting, revival, social, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. Some Wednesday nights were just mom and us kids because dad would be working. He didn't work on Sundays though. That was family day. I made so many good friends in Church. Even as a toddler I was in the nursery helping our nursery worker with the even younger babies. Because my siblings were all older, I was in many ways, wise beyond my years and matured quite quickly for my age. My dad was a great example of always doing for others. He would give the shirt off his back if someone needed it. He would give up his portion of food for someone that had none. His hurt were for the hurting, the homeless, and the down trodden. He was a hard worker. It didn't take long for me to realize that this man was my hero.
I very rarely got into trouble growing up. Though I was/am a strong willed person, I also have the desire not to let those I love down. I made good grades. Not because I just LOVED school but because I wanted my parents...specifically my daddy to be proud of me. Any sport I chose to play, I succeeded at. Not just because I loved the sport (which I did) but I also wanted to show my daddy that I would work hard and be the best I could I be and always give 150%. My parents firmly believed in spankings and I know there are many today that do not but before anyone gets outraged, I promise you, I was never abused. I never felt abused. I was never frightened by spankings. I was more upset that I had let someone down than I was over a spanking. I have mixed emotions on this topic. I know each and every spanking I received (which I can count on 1 hand), I deserved. I deserved more than I got most likely but I could always feel the love and hurt that it caused my dad when he would spank us. If what we did was something that angered him, he would send us to our room, he would go to his room or his "study room" and pray and cool down first and then come to us and talk with us and discuss why what we did was wrong and make sure we understood why. The Bible does say, "Spare the rod, you spoil the child." I think there is a time and place and a way to handle everything and I NEVER felt my father did so inappropriately. There were never marks left and you could see the pain in his face once it was done. I'm not saying all this to start a debate over whether spanking is appropriate or not, I'm just telling my life story and in my life story, I was fine with it. I preferred it to be grounded or writing sentences. It was done and over with in a split second while still getting the point across where being grounded and writing sentences were pure torture to me. And I also realize every child is different. Spankings are effective for all children just as time out and re-direction aren't effective for all children. There is no handbook when you have kids and you have to pray and do what you feel is best for you and your family without judging (unless someone is truly being abused) what is best for another family.
Getting back on track, as I grew, sports became a love and passion of mine. I played soccer from the time I was 4 until I was in the 6th grade. Then I played basketball from 8th grade and on into college. I lived, breathed, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed soccer and basketball. It probably kept me out of a LOT of trouble when I was in my teenage years. haha (to be continued....)
I really had an ordinary life. Life was care free, happy,amazing. My earliest memories start back at 2 or 3. Though I don't remember much that early, there are some things I do remember. I came from what we always referred to as a "Yours, mine, and ours" family. Meaning, my dad had been married before and had a son and a daughter. My mom had been married before and had a daughter and a son. Their first marriages broke up. They lived on the same street. An East side neighborhood. After much pursuing by my father, my mother started dating him. They get married and merge two families. It wasn't much longer and I joined the crew. My earlier years were very happy and carefree. Exciting and fun. I was only a toddler so of course, to me, life was grand. I had a back yard to play in, cousins to play with, neighborhood kids to play with.
But the more I think about it, other than pictures and holidays and Sundays. I don't have too many memories of my daddy at that young of age (2-3). I have plenty of my mom, my brothers, one of my sisters, my Aunt and my cousins (some of them lived with us and or spent many nights with us during this time). My dad was a very hard working man. We were a low income family. My mom had in home daycare so she could be home for us prior to going to school and then we we left for school and returned home. The way my parents raised us, I never realized just how "low income" we were. We had hand me down clothes, there was a period we were on food stamps. We didn't eat out and we never had big lavish things or new cars. I don't recall too many of our cars even having air conditioning. Now that I'm grown, I hear stories from my mom...how there were times they didn't know where our next meal would come from.
My dad was a high school drop out. He had a rough life himself. His dad died when he was 7 and my Grandma did the best he could raising him and his 3 siblings. When I was young my dad had 3 jobs. He worked at a machine shop, he had a pest control business and I don't recall what the other job was. 2 of his jobs were full time. (I think the machine shop and the pest control). I recall trying to stay up until midnight or later so I could kiss my daddy and tell him goodnight. Most nights I succeeded.
My dad was 12 years older than my mom so when I was born, my siblings were somewhere in the range of 16 or 17 (my oldest brother), 14 or 15 (My oldest sister), 8 (my other big sister), and 6 (my other big brother). So at times, there were 7 people in a 3 bedroom 1 bath home. As a little kid, it didn't feel crowded at all but why would it? I was born into that. :) And it was never just the 7 of us. At any given time I had an Aunt or an Uncle or cousins living with us as well. My mom was one of 8 kids so some of her siblings were around the age of my older siblings. When they would reach the age that they would leave home, our place seemed to be the popular resting spot. :) It was a home full of love....that is for sure.
It's amazing how a family can have so little (monetarily) and yet the children feel rich. Of course that is all in how we perceive things when we are young. Everything is fresh and exciting and new and innocent until someone tells you different or crushes your imagination or dreams. We very rarely ate out. We couldn't afford it. We didn't have cable TV. We had the basic 3 or 4 (channels 2,6,8, and 11)channels with bunny ear antenna's that we watched on a TV my parents had saved their pocket change for YEARS to buy. I remember the rolling of the coins. It was a family affair. If I remember correctly, once they were all counted out and rolled, they were taken to K-mart to make the "big purchase". It was SOO exciting. It was exciting to maneuver the antenna's just right so we could get reception. Sometimes it would require tin foil on the antenna's. lol
I grew up in a Christian home. My parents had us in Church every time the doors were opened. Prayer meeting, revival, social, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. Some Wednesday nights were just mom and us kids because dad would be working. He didn't work on Sundays though. That was family day. I made so many good friends in Church. Even as a toddler I was in the nursery helping our nursery worker with the even younger babies. Because my siblings were all older, I was in many ways, wise beyond my years and matured quite quickly for my age. My dad was a great example of always doing for others. He would give the shirt off his back if someone needed it. He would give up his portion of food for someone that had none. His hurt were for the hurting, the homeless, and the down trodden. He was a hard worker. It didn't take long for me to realize that this man was my hero.
I very rarely got into trouble growing up. Though I was/am a strong willed person, I also have the desire not to let those I love down. I made good grades. Not because I just LOVED school but because I wanted my parents...specifically my daddy to be proud of me. Any sport I chose to play, I succeeded at. Not just because I loved the sport (which I did) but I also wanted to show my daddy that I would work hard and be the best I could I be and always give 150%. My parents firmly believed in spankings and I know there are many today that do not but before anyone gets outraged, I promise you, I was never abused. I never felt abused. I was never frightened by spankings. I was more upset that I had let someone down than I was over a spanking. I have mixed emotions on this topic. I know each and every spanking I received (which I can count on 1 hand), I deserved. I deserved more than I got most likely but I could always feel the love and hurt that it caused my dad when he would spank us. If what we did was something that angered him, he would send us to our room, he would go to his room or his "study room" and pray and cool down first and then come to us and talk with us and discuss why what we did was wrong and make sure we understood why. The Bible does say, "Spare the rod, you spoil the child." I think there is a time and place and a way to handle everything and I NEVER felt my father did so inappropriately. There were never marks left and you could see the pain in his face once it was done. I'm not saying all this to start a debate over whether spanking is appropriate or not, I'm just telling my life story and in my life story, I was fine with it. I preferred it to be grounded or writing sentences. It was done and over with in a split second while still getting the point across where being grounded and writing sentences were pure torture to me. And I also realize every child is different. Spankings are effective for all children just as time out and re-direction aren't effective for all children. There is no handbook when you have kids and you have to pray and do what you feel is best for you and your family without judging (unless someone is truly being abused) what is best for another family.
Getting back on track, as I grew, sports became a love and passion of mine. I played soccer from the time I was 4 until I was in the 6th grade. Then I played basketball from 8th grade and on into college. I lived, breathed, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed soccer and basketball. It probably kept me out of a LOT of trouble when I was in my teenage years. haha (to be continued....)
Monday, June 25, 2012
Mourn at Birth, Rejoice at Death....
I often heard that phrase growing up and was told it's in the scripture (but it's not....there is one scripture that is similar but it's not the same at all). I used to wonder why in the world would someone rejoice at death and mourn at birth. And then.....
And then I lost my father.....and then I had my children.....and then I understood. My father suffered a long time before he past and it was the most painful thing to endure and to watch and though I still miss him terribly...SO SO terribly, once he passed a sense of relief came over us. He was no longer in pain. He was no longer hooked up to tubes. He would no longer smell of death. He would no longer go through spells of confusion. Watching someone you love suffer so deeply and so long is the most painful thing your can endure so when they pass on, though you are deeply saddened for them you are also relieve that they are no longer suffering.
When I had my babies, it was the happiest days of my life! Quite opposite from mourning actually but one thing you realize once you become a parent, and this hits parents (especially moms) at different stages of parenthood is that this beautiful miracle you brought into the world will now one day face heartache. They will feel sad, fear, loneliness, possibly depression, they may have an illness that causes them physical and emotion pain and once you realize this perfect little bundle of joy will one day hurt, it hurts your heart! Don't get me wrong, the moments of happiness and joy far out way the moments of pain if you are fortunate and blessed but it doesn't make the pain of watching your child hurt any less in the moment that the pain is happening. Thinking about these 2 scenarios made me think of when God, for one moment in time could not look upon His own Son. I often hear people say that it's because at that moment, Jesus took the sin of the world upon Himself. But I have to wonder if God could not look for that reason or if it was really because he could not, as a parent, bare to see the suffering that was being placed upon His son's shoulders. If you stop and think about any, all, and every sin that has been, could be, ever will be committed and to know that if at that very moment, all of that was being covered by Jesus' blood....as a parent, I feel that maybe....just maybe, God couldn't watch not because it was sin but because of the pain and anguish it caused His one and only Son!! I can't even fathom watching my child bare the burdens of a sinful and fallen world. I can't even bare to watch my child have a broken heart because a sibling or friend called them a name. I can't bare to watch my child suffer in pain when they are sick or hurt but to multiply all that pain times infinity and I think my heart would shatter right out of my chest.
So, though I've not found that saying in scripture, I do now "get it". I can understand that sentiment and way of thinking.
I will now try to resume my slumber. I was trying to go to sleep and I'm not sure why this topic even came into my mind while trying to drift off to dream land but I couldn't not type my thoughts as I knew I'd forget them by morning.
God bless
And then I lost my father.....and then I had my children.....and then I understood. My father suffered a long time before he past and it was the most painful thing to endure and to watch and though I still miss him terribly...SO SO terribly, once he passed a sense of relief came over us. He was no longer in pain. He was no longer hooked up to tubes. He would no longer smell of death. He would no longer go through spells of confusion. Watching someone you love suffer so deeply and so long is the most painful thing your can endure so when they pass on, though you are deeply saddened for them you are also relieve that they are no longer suffering.
When I had my babies, it was the happiest days of my life! Quite opposite from mourning actually but one thing you realize once you become a parent, and this hits parents (especially moms) at different stages of parenthood is that this beautiful miracle you brought into the world will now one day face heartache. They will feel sad, fear, loneliness, possibly depression, they may have an illness that causes them physical and emotion pain and once you realize this perfect little bundle of joy will one day hurt, it hurts your heart! Don't get me wrong, the moments of happiness and joy far out way the moments of pain if you are fortunate and blessed but it doesn't make the pain of watching your child hurt any less in the moment that the pain is happening. Thinking about these 2 scenarios made me think of when God, for one moment in time could not look upon His own Son. I often hear people say that it's because at that moment, Jesus took the sin of the world upon Himself. But I have to wonder if God could not look for that reason or if it was really because he could not, as a parent, bare to see the suffering that was being placed upon His son's shoulders. If you stop and think about any, all, and every sin that has been, could be, ever will be committed and to know that if at that very moment, all of that was being covered by Jesus' blood....as a parent, I feel that maybe....just maybe, God couldn't watch not because it was sin but because of the pain and anguish it caused His one and only Son!! I can't even fathom watching my child bare the burdens of a sinful and fallen world. I can't even bare to watch my child have a broken heart because a sibling or friend called them a name. I can't bare to watch my child suffer in pain when they are sick or hurt but to multiply all that pain times infinity and I think my heart would shatter right out of my chest.
So, though I've not found that saying in scripture, I do now "get it". I can understand that sentiment and way of thinking.
I will now try to resume my slumber. I was trying to go to sleep and I'm not sure why this topic even came into my mind while trying to drift off to dream land but I couldn't not type my thoughts as I knew I'd forget them by morning.
God bless
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