Monday, June 25, 2012

Mourn at Birth, Rejoice at Death....

I often heard that phrase growing up and was told it's in the scripture (but it's not....there is one scripture that is similar but it's not the same at all).  I used to wonder why in the world would someone rejoice at death and mourn at birth.  And then.....

And then I lost my father.....and then I had my children.....and then I understood.  My father suffered a long time before he past and it was the most painful thing to endure and to watch and though I still miss him terribly...SO SO terribly, once he passed a sense of relief came over us.  He was no longer in pain.  He was no longer hooked up to tubes.  He would no longer smell of death.  He would no longer go through spells of confusion.  Watching someone you love suffer so deeply and so long is the most painful thing your can endure so when they pass on, though you are deeply saddened for them you are also relieve that they are no longer suffering.

When I had my babies, it was the happiest days of my life!  Quite opposite from mourning actually but one thing you realize once you become a parent, and this hits parents (especially moms) at different stages of parenthood is that this beautiful miracle you brought into the world will now one day face heartache.  They will feel sad, fear, loneliness, possibly depression, they may have an illness that causes them physical and emotion pain and once you realize this perfect little bundle of joy will one day hurt, it hurts your heart!  Don't get me wrong, the moments of happiness and joy far out way the moments of pain if you are fortunate and blessed but it doesn't make the pain of watching your child hurt any less in the moment that the pain is happening.  Thinking about these 2 scenarios made me think of when God, for one moment in time could not look upon His own Son.  I often hear people say that it's because at that moment, Jesus took the sin of the world upon Himself.  But I have to wonder if God could not look for that reason or if it was really because he could not, as a parent, bare to see the suffering that was being placed upon His son's shoulders.  If you stop and think about any, all, and every sin that has been, could be, ever will be committed and to know that if at that very moment, all of that was being covered by Jesus' a parent, I feel that maybe....just maybe, God couldn't watch not because it was sin but because of the pain and anguish it caused His one and only Son!!  I can't even fathom watching my child bare the burdens of a sinful and fallen world.  I can't even bare to watch my child have a broken heart because a sibling or friend called them a name.  I can't bare to watch my child suffer in pain when they are sick or hurt but to multiply all that pain times infinity and I think my heart would shatter right out of my chest.

So, though I've not found that saying in scripture, I do now "get it".  I can understand that sentiment and way of thinking.

I will now try to resume my slumber.  I was trying to go to sleep and I'm not sure why this topic even came into my mind while trying to drift off to dream land but I couldn't not type my thoughts as I knew I'd forget them by morning.
God bless