Friday, February 3, 2012

Caleb..."servant of the Lord"

The first blog I've posted about my children was about Madison.  This one is about Caleb and really dear to my heart.  Please read below to find out about my precious Caleb.

"servant of the Lord"  is the meaning of  Caleb
There is a man that was dear to our family.  He used to do Bible studies and Prayer meetings in our home but he also lead a revival at Bethel. He once told me that if I had dreams with snakes or serpents in them to start praying over them and pleading the blood over them because it's often times a sign that someone is trying to use witch craft against you or curse you.  Last week I had a dream I was at a park at night with the kids which is in and of itself odd but anyway, I was talking to someone and Caleb (my 5 year old) climbed up the slide. It had a tunnel over it. He started screaming and came running down the slide. He had a bite mark on his cheek that had 2 holes in it. I looked up in there and there was a snake up in there. I woke up after that but I started praying over Caleb. I don't know if you ever heard the story of what I went through when I was carrying him but satan really tried to keep him from entering this world.

A couple of different times when I was carrying Caleb, I had symptoms of a miscarriage. From the excruciating pain all the way to the visible signs. The last time it happened, my Dr. sent me back for an ultra sound. I should have been about 8 weeks. The tech starts the US and can not pick up a heart beat or see a baby. She does an internal US and same results. She tried for 30 minutes to try and detect a hint of a heartbeat or see any signs of a baby and could not. I could tell it didn't look good. My Dr. calls me into his office instead of back to the exam room so naturally my heart sank to my shoes. Jeremy was there with me and the Dr. said, it appears you've lost the baby but the sack is still there. So we need to talk about scheduling you for a D&C to clean out what remains in there. He said, we drew blood when you came in and the results will be back in the morning and from what I'm seeing, your HCG levels should be dropping back down now. Come back in tomorrow and we'll go over you blood work and get your D&C scheduled. That night I'm so upset I can't think straight. I called my mom sobbing and told her what was going on and told her, you can tell the family if you want but I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to have to repeat this story over and over. I need to deal with it myself and I just can't talk to anyone about it right now. Tell everyone I'm sorry but I will not be answering my phone tonight. Jeremy held me and I cried myself to sleep. The next day I woke up in a better mood but still down. About halfway through the morning I felt led t start quoting scriptures over my belly. I would quote ""Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5
and the one that says "Ye are the righteousness of God in Christ" only I would say "Caleb is the righteousness of God in Christ. He was formed in God's image and has a purpose. He shall live and not die."
Psalm 118:7 I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. only I would say, "Caleb will not die but live and proclaim what the Lord has done." I would keep repeating these verses and prayers over my belly throughout the day. We get to the Dr.s office and my Dr.'s nurse pokes her head  out and says, "would you mind repeating the US? Your HCG levels are still increasing." I have a nervous laugh and say of course I don't mind. So again, the Dr. calls us back to his office and says, I just want to dot my i's and cross my t's. I don't want to schedule you for this procedure without 100% certainty of what I feel has happened and these numbers have put a little doubt in my mind. It still doesn't look good based on the US but I could not sleep at night if I wasn't 100% certain. I go back for the US and could see the tech was not looking forward to this session. I imagine it's difficult giving expectant moms gloomy news and having to be the "definitive" answer. I lay down on the table and less than 3 seconds she says, " Um...wait a that?....I have a heartbeat!" I started crying hysterically and she's trying to calm me down so she can continue. A couple more swipes over my tummy and there he is. Measuring at the perfect gestation just floating around in there and seeing that little heartbeat was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I knew he was called and destined to be here.

This was my 1'st experience with the devil trying to take his life. The next time, I was at a used car lot looking at vehicles. We had a small car and was fine for the 3 of us but Caleb was a couple months from being due and we would need more space. For some reason, Jeremy took the car to work so that left me with his old Ford pick up. I had dropped Olivia off at the day care and went to the Lemon Lot to look at what was available. It was early in the morning and no one was out there. I pulled up Really close to the cars on the lot. The Truck was facing East to West and the cars on the lot were facing North and South so the Truck and the van I was looking at formed a T. I put the truck in park and stepped out. I left the drivers side door open so I could just get back in really quickly. Well, I'm checking the van out and make my way to the front of it to read what the sign in the window says and the truck slips into reverse on it's own. It pins me between the truck door ( the tip of the door is pushing in on my belly) and the front end of the van. It was squeezing on both sides of my belly. The door of the truck on one side and the side of the van on the other. All kinds of gruesome scenes play through my mind and then I gain my wits and somehow am able to pull my belly out and my knee gets pinned instead. I yank my knee out and run around to the passenger side and slide in to move the truck forward thinking it's going to keep going and squish all the vehicles into each other. I stopped the catastrophe from happening and drove myself to the hospital. Very shaken up. They were more worried about my knee and I was more worried about Caleb. They hook me up to monitors and he's just fine.

THEN, after he was born, his PKU test came back abnormal. They repeated it 2 or 3 more times and again they came back abnormal and we are sent to the Children's hospital in Birmingham. They explain to me they are testing him for a condition that is commonly referred to as "wasting disease" or Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. Basically, the body can not process the salt it makes and causes the baby to dehydrate and die. It's very common in Jews (my husband is half Jewish) but typically, unless both parents are carriers, the baby is only a carrier but the fact the he had failed 4 PKU tests concerned them. I had to carry my baby into this cold sterile room and watch them try to insert an IV into him. His veins are so tiny that it's not working so they stick the bottom of his foot and SQUEEZE 2 vials of blood from his little foot. He screamed, I cried...then they tell me they would have to repeat the test 2 hours later. I guess they inject something into them to see how the babies body responds and if it processes it properly. So the second time, I hand him off to Jeremy and told him he had to take him back, I couldn't watch them do that to him again. Well, long story short, test came back fine and he is just a carrier of this condition.

Then, when he was 3, a friend and I had gotten together and taken our kids to our Church's Fall festival. Our Church is REALLY big on ministering to the kids of the inner city here so there are a lot of families from what they call "the bottom". That show up that night. Madi was a baby and was crying and I bent down to give her her paci and looked back and he was gone. Again, my heart dropped to my shoes. My friend stayed in the lobby with my girls and her boys as I walked around the fellowship Center crammed pack of people and kids in costumes. All I could do was pray that a predator did not see an opportunity and take advantage of it. I had told the kids if for any reason they got separated from me to find some one they knew and trusted and just stay put. After about 15 minutes ( that felt like 15 hours), I found him at the Sr. Citizens booth. I've never been so relieved.

I said all that to say that I know he has a purpose and a calling on his life. I feel like he is attacked more than any of my other children were or are. He has the most tender spirit toward things of God and things having to do with forgiveness. We watched the Grace Card as a family and at the end he BAWLED!!!! I asked him what was wrong because I didn't think as young as he was that he could really comprehend what was taking place in the movie. "He says, I'm happy and sad." I said why are you happy AND sad? He says, "I'm sad that the man lost his child but I'm happy that the daddy forgave that man. He didn't have to do that. That was really nice of him." Naturally, I lost it and started praying that God would guard and protect that side of him. That he would always be sensitive to the things of the Spirit. SO, when I had that dream, I woke up and started praying over him immediately. I don't know who or what would want to attack him but this momma plans on being vigilant and will not back down from praying a hedge of protection over him.

I love my little man so much!  He and his sister are an extension of my heart walking around and growing on the outside of me.  Whatever God has in store for him, I know it's something great!!

How does God speak to you?

Have you ever wondered if God speaks to you and if He did how would you know and would you hear Him?  I used to wonder that as well until I truly experienced hearing His voice.  Usually in the form of dreams but there have been times that I have been wide awake and it was if He were sitting next to me carrying on a conversation with me.  I couldn't see Him but I could sure feel His presence and hear Him. 

It was prophesied over me once that I would see things in the spiritual realm.  I didn't really comprehend what that meant at first or know how I felt about it but as I get older and see more and have more stirrings within my spirit, I'm starting to understand it.

More and more as the years go by, I'm having spiritual dreams and inclinations to stop what I'm doing and pray about something.  One dream I had, I was told to write it down.  I did not because I can never forget this dream.  Sure I may forget small details but the gist of the dream is unforgettable to me.

In this dream, I owned and ran an orphanage.  The children within it were like my own.  I loved them dearly.  One day while talking with another adult, I had one of the babies with me.  He couldn't have been any more than 1 1/2.  He was running around my feet as I was talking.  Suddenly the earth opened up and a beast appeared from a fiery hole in the ground and had fire flaming from his mouth.  I remember I immediately went into prayer mode....I knew I was up against spiritual warfare.  I asked the beast, or serpent if you will what he had come for.  He pointed to the precious baby at my feet.  I said it is not possible!  Why would you take him.  He is not yet at the age of accountability and can not make that decision for himself.  The serpent did not answer and spoke no more the rest of the time he was there.  The life of this child became a spiritual tug of war.  The serpent would tug and I would pray harder.  I could see the spears of my prayers were hindering him.  I prayed harder.  This tugging felt like it went on forever.  Finally the serpent went back into the hole in which he had come from.  I looked at the child at my feet and he was covered in burns.  It was then I awakened from my sleep.  I was disturbed beyond measure.  I kept praying and asking God, how could satan wage war on the life of an infant who is yet beyond understand of the things of God.  Who can not yet grasp salvation and forgiveness.  How  was it even possible.  Some time went by and I could not get this dream out of my head.  I ran into the man who had prophesied over me that I would see things of the spirit.  He listened intently to me replay my dream for him and then I finished with, "But I do not understand how this can be...he was but a child!"  This man stopped and prayed with me and then says, "What you were seeing was the battle of a baby Christian.  The baby in the dream was representative of a new Christian, not a true physical infant.  You will be the mother of many.  A spiritual mentor and will be waging spiritual war for the souls of those you come in contact with."  At that moment, it did all make sense.

Not long after that, I had been with a group from my Church on a mission trip to New Orleans during Mardi Gras.  We spent much of our time ministering to the homeless youth.  They called themselves "gutter punks".  The majority of them had been brought up in Christian homes.  Some were P.K.'s (pastors kids) who turned from the faith because of the hypocrisy they saw at home and at church.  Though we made a lot of progress there, the one I'll never forget....I never could get his name.  It was so loud where we were that it was amazing we could even understand each other at all but me and 2 others saw this guy all alone on Bourbon Street.  I don't know if you've ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans but it's very difficult to "be alone" on Bourbon Street.  LOL The street is literally packed like a can of sardines and you have to inch your way down it.  Anyway, he stood out to us and we made our way to him.  He entered into a little pub and we followed him in.  You could see sadness and fear and depression all over his face.  When we approached him and asked if we could pray with him, you could see a really small glimmer of hope in his eyes.  He allowed us to and then we got to talking to him.  More like hollering because like I said, it was REALLY loud!  He started asking question and by the time we were done, we were able to lead him in the prayer of salvation.  It was the most amazing feeling I've ever had.  You could see it all melt away...the pain, the fear, the depression.  He even sat his drink down and left it behind and followed us out of the bar.  We were able to get him the names of some places around that could help him and get him started on the right path but you could see this was going to be a struggle for him.  The bad thing about those trips is that in situations like that, you usually have to leave the person without any contact info because of the situation.  All we had were our memories to rely and some really loud streets and a bar to contend with.   All we could do was to remember him in prayer and pray that someone would come along and continue to help him in his walk with Christ.  As I returned home from that trip, my dream came to mind....this young man could have very well been the "baby" in my dream and it led me to pray for him even more over the next few months.

Last night was not without dream either. 
I dreamed we (Jeremy and I) were with a group and had our kids out on a field trip. For some reason, we all got to ride in a fire truck. As we were on our way to our final portion of the field trip, we passed by a horrific accident. It appeared some apartment complexes had caved in and caught fire. Possibly from an earthquake...I don't know...our driver started to pass it because there were already something like 40 fire engines there. He decided to stop and help out. When he came back to his engine, he asked our permission to skip the final part of our field trip because he needed to regroup from all the tragedy he had just seen. I think our world is in for a shaking....maybe not physical, I don't know but for sure spiritual. Are you going to be strong enough to endure the tests and trials and persecution that come your way? Just something to think about!
Listen to what God is telling whatever manner He speaks to you.  We are coming upon a time when you will need those communication lines with God to be open and strong.  You will need your faith like never before.  It will be a time where God separates His warriors from his pretenders.  If you are just "going through the motions" you won't be able to stand.  I pray that you would search your heart and see where you can grow stronger.  
Matthew 5:12   New Living Translation (©2007)
Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.
Clarke's Commentary on the Bible
Rejoice - In the testimony of a good conscience; for, without this, suffering has nothing but misery in it.
Be exceeding glad - Αγαλλιασθε, leap for joy. There are several cases on record, where this was literally done by the martyrs, in Queen Mary's days.
Great is your reward in heaven - In the Talmudical tract Pirkey Aboth, are these words: "Rabbi Tarpon said, The day is short: the work is great: the laborers are slow: the Reward Is Great: and the father of the family is urgent."
The followers of Christ are encouraged to suffer joyfully on two considerations.
1. They are thereby conformed to the prophets who went before.
2. Their reward in heaven is a great one.
God gives the grace to suffer, and then crowns that grace with glory; hence it is plain, the reward is not of debt, but of grace: Romans 6:23.