Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Hero's come in all shapes and sizes!

So, I've been contemplating writing a book about my life.  Not just because of all that's happened in my lifetime, but because one day, I'd like my kids to be able to pick it up and feel like they are reliving my life through what they are reading.  The good, the bad, and the ugly, but mostly the good!  :)  As I was thinking of how I would start off the book, the introduction if you will, I figured a basic introduction of my earliest years would be the best.  Which, of course would mean introducing the yours, mine and ours aspect of our family.  We were the Brady Bunch of East Tulsa only with 5 kids instead of 8.  My mom had 2 children by a previous marriage and my dad had 2 by a previous marriage and when they were married, conceived me....the caboose.  So naturally, that got me to thinking about my childhood and reminiscing on days long gone.  I LOVE, absolutely LOVE all my siblings and both my parents but as a little girl, seeing as there were SO many years between me and my siblings, I was closest to my daddy and my oldest brother.

It was then that it dawned on me that I'm not sure my oldest brother knows EXACTLY how much he meant to me and exactly how influential he was on me in my adolescent years.  And now, the explanation of my title.  He was my hero!  My daddy was always my biggest hero but my big brother Doug ran a very close second!  He doted on me and spoiled me and was the best big brother a little girl could ask for.  He even had his friends doting on me!  haha!  Keep in mind, he graduated high school only a year after I was born so looking back, it's kind of funny just HOW much attention these high school seniors and college boys paid me.  Some of my best memories are of going out to his room where he kept his weights and watching him work out as he had his music blaring.  I'm still not quite certain how I remember this seeing as he was in college by the time I was 2.  Maybe it was summers?  Another favorite memory was an annual memory.  Christmas.  He would sit with me as I opened my gifts in the old rocking chair in my parents UGLY green living room!  LOL  Pea green shag carpet and a rocking chair that looked like it had a quilt top for a seat cushion cover.  One of my ALL time FAVORITE memories and I'm not even sure if he'll remember this....I don't know if it was my dads motor cycle or his or what the deal was but I always wanted to go for a ride with him on it.  My mom would never let me.  Well he was out riding one time and I don't know where my ride started or if my dad and I had walked up to Foster and met him in the parking lot or what the deal was but I got my first motor cycle ride from my big brother!  I just remember dad putting me on there with him in Foster Middle School parking lot.

I remember the interstate lights on our way to see him in college!  I was so excited I couldn't sleep.  Again, I'm not sure why we were traveling at night...maybe it was on a night after dad had been working but I just couldn't wait to see him.  I remember crying the trip back because I didn't want to leave him.

Another one of my favorite memories is his wedding day.  My sister in law was (and still is ) amazingly beautiful.  Inside and out.  She was like a big sister to me as well.  I think she may have doted on me just as much if not more than my big brother did once they started dating.  haha.  As with any relationship, time and distance have separated us but the love and fond memories will always be there.

I've written several blogs on my daddy already....these were my very first hero's.  As I've grown up and become a mother myself, I've added new hero's.  My kids teachers and Sunday school teachers....that more often than not goes unspoken which is a shame.  I'll never forget the warmth in my heart and the tears that welled up in my eyes when Olivia came home from School last year, it was getting close to Christmas break, and she told me that her teacher told her class the Christmas story and why we celebrate Christmas.  To some, that may not be much but to a parent that is trying to raise their kids up with the same beliefs and morals they have, that is EVERYTHING!!!  I think a child's faith begins at home but it's nice to have reinforcements in the way of Sunday School teachers and School teachers and even more refreshing when teachers are not afraid to speak of their convictions and faith, knowing they may face consequences if the wrong parent gets wind of it and gets offended.  It brought tears to my eye's to know that some of our teachers are not just teachers, but in my eyes, missionaries as well!

My husband is one of my hero's!  He came into my life at a critical time.  I was just beginning to deal with the grief of losing my father and I was making some not so great decisions.  I was looking for love in all the wrong places and for someone to fill that huge void in my heart.  No I wasn't looking for a daddy replacement but I think I was just thinking that if I could experience marriage and love that maybe that love would dim out the part that was now missing and an open wound.  God knew what I needed and though the circumstances are quite comical at best, a new hero was brought into my life!  He is the love of my life!  It's great to experience what God intended when He said "The two shall become one" and I'm not just talking on a bedroom level, I mean in ALL aspects of marriage.  It's beautiful when the love and trust and communication is all on the same level and functioning as one unit.  I'm also thankful I never became "unequally yoked". I see so many of my friends and family struggling with marriage and it's so hard to just sit back and watch and sometimes, though I feel immensely blessed, I also feel a bit guilty that I found (or rather God brought to me) what He designed for us all to have.  I feel guilty that I don't know what they are going through because I've never experienced a relationship that is about to or feels like it's failing.  Don't get me wrong, I'm ever grateful I HAVEN'T gone through that but I'm one who always tries to put myself in someone elses shoes to get a glimpse of what they are going through and those are shoes I can't put on.  I won't put on .  So it leaves me feeling a bit helpless in how to be a good listener when someone comes to me with these issues.  I've learned that most times, a good listener is all they need.  They aren't looking for direction and council when they seek out a friend, but rather a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear.  That I can do and that I can be!  I love you Jeremy Lee Bullard and I'm so ever thankful that God brought us together!!

My children have become my hero's.  I don't know what I would do without them.  They keep me in check and they show me a new side of love that I never could understand until I had kids of my own.  Teenagers, college students, if you are reading this, think about how you treat your parents because whether you know it or not, you are most likely their hero's too!  I would be here ALL day if I went through each of my kids characteristics and what makes them my hero but just the fact that they are mine, given to me by God when by Dr.'s standards, I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids, makes them my hero!  And of course, that makes God my biggest hero!!

Take a minute to think about who YOUR hero's are and the ones that are still here, let them know!  You just might make their day!  :)

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