Friday, December 14, 2012

A time for mourning and a time to remember just what you have to be thankful for!

My day started off like any other day but I knew it would be a busy one.  Tis the season!  Typically, mornings are pretty stressful here.  Especially school morning.  I have 3 kids that are each 2 years apart and they are at a stage in their little lives that they feel their purpose in life is to see just how long they can annoy each other before their target explodes!  This morning was no different.  Madison is mocking everything Olivia is saying.  Caleb is taking Madison's baby dolls from her and running through the house and Olivia is screaming at the top of her lungs, "MOOOOOMMMMMMAAAAA!!!!!  SHE'S MOCKING ME!!!!!"  and I'm going about my business, making a hot oatmeal breakfast for these little ungrateful beings who are going through a season of not only teasing the fool out of each other but complaining about everything.  Everything is too hot, too cold, too itchy, too soft, too thin, too thick, too sweet, not sweet enough etc...etc...

Olivia, my oldest, does not know what the word "hurry" means.  She can not even fathom it.  She moves about her life at a snails pace.  Truth be told, she'll probably live longer for it but I'm sure to die sooner over the stress it causes. (so kidding, I'm NOT claiming an early death!...I am however trying to lighten what will soon become a very heave hearted post). So from the time I wake them up in the morning until the time they are in the care of their school, it is an understatement to say that our home is chaos.  I've tried routine.  In fact, we still have the same routine that we've had since Olivia started kindergarten.  Shower before bed, pray together as a family, sing a song, kiss and hug, tell them to hush and go to sleep over and over and over, finally...peace and quiet.  Then my work begins.  Dishes, shower, work, editing (which is part of my work), might catch up on a show or two while editing, look at the clock, exclaim "CRAP!  I better get in bed" as it's now 3:30 am and my alarm will be going off at 6:30 AM.  Brush my teeth, climb into bed for what seems like 5 minutes, then wake up startled to a loud obnoxious meep meep meEP meEP mEEP mEEP MEEP MEEP!  I go and wake up the kids.  Tell them to get on their uniforms, belt, shoes, socks (yes I have to be specific and tell them EVERYTHING they need to put on that morning.  Especially Olivia) and then meet me at the table.  While they are doing that, I'm filling up cups with milk, water, or juice...whichever their choice is. I'm either pouring cereal into bows, making oatmeal and divvying it up or scrambling eggs and making toast.  I get this all done and set on the table and call them in.  Caleb is already picking on Madi (though fully dressed like I requested....most of the time), Madi is complaining that she's hungry and thirsty and needs to go pee. (then go!!  Just be sure you wash your hands! AND the other order!) and Olivia has her uniform shirt on and that is it.  I get frustrated and tell her once again she has 2 minutes to finish getting dressed.  5 minutes later she comes out.  Still missing her shoe and sock and looking like a hot mess!  (she's in a cast right now and on crutches so only one shoe and sock and she still can't do this in a timely fashion.)  She sits at the table and complains that her cereal is too mushy or her oatmeal is too cold....I try to gently remind her that if she would have gotten dressed in a timely manner her cereal would not be mushy or her oatmeal would not be cold.  Caleb and Madi have about finished their breakfast (if Madi even eats at all...she's always hungry and never eats much.  LOL) and the teasing begins.

Any two of them together can usually play fine together but you have all 3 and they feel it's their job to see just how long they can pick on each before making someone scream.   I make sure their backpacks are ready all while telling Olivia to hurry up.  They are finally done and have put their bowls in the sink (If I'm lucky) and I instruct them to brush their teeth and hair.

School starts at 8:00 and we are lucky to be out the door by 7:45.  Thank God we live close by!  I kiss them and hug them and tell them to have a good day and wipe the sweat off my brow...shoo...that's finally done!  Maybe the rest of the day will be peaceful with only 1 left at home.

Then there are days like today.  Days where I said goodbye to them in the same manner as usual but maybe had been harsh on them for acting up.  I don't love them any less, they've just driven me to a point of frustration and I always feel bad about it afterwards.  Thankfully, those times are much less than they use to be...then my day is SO busy and I go about my day with not a care in the world.  I drop Madi off with a family member and go eat Christmas lunch with my handsome sweet 1st grader who didn't know I was coming to enjoy Christmas lunch with him.  The look of surprise on his face was priceless and it was SO special and beautiful to me.  We eat our lunch, we talk about his day so far and then I kiss and hug him and tell him goodbye and I'd see him after school.  I went and picked up Madison and we went to target to pick up some things we needed and to get our stocking stuffers (I hid hers in the bottom part of the shopping cart....down below on the VERY bottom where you can put packs of water and large and bulky things.)  We check out and I stop and get her something for lunch. (She refused to eat earlier).  We bring it back home and it's already almost time to pick the older 2 kids up from school.  We have just enough time for her to eat and for me to get on facebook and check some work things.  I could not believe the news I was reading.  Every other post was about it and I was brought to tears.  How could anyone shoot anyone let alone and ENTIRE classroom of babies!  My son was a kindergartener last year. My baby will be one next year and it near about brought me to my knee's.  Dear God!!!  how could something like this happen?  What could possible possess someone to take the life of a child?   To add to my hurt and confusion and frustration were those folks already using this as political propaganda to outlaw hand guns.

First of all, there still may have been family members who didn't yet know their child had been murdered at the hand of a crazed maniac who was obviously suffering some sort of mental break down, depression, possession...whatever it was that told him this was what he needed to do and people are already talking politics???  Really???

Second of all, I was once one of those who said guns would not be in my home as long as I had kids.  And then....and then I was shown a loaded gun by a man who was supposed to care the most about me and had fear instilled in me and forced me to do things with him I did not want to do.  Not until I was married, and had kids...daughters did I realize my feeling has changed drastically.  Over my dead body would any man...any one period lay a hand on my child to harm them physically, sexually, or in way shape or form.  I am their mother.  It is MY job to protect them and if someone stormed into my home with then intent to take my children, harm my children, harm me,  or anyone that is in my home, they WILL be met with someone prepared and willing to fight!  The momma bear rises up within me when I think of anyone trying to harm my babies!!! 

Then you take Israel.  A country that trains and arms their teachers to protect the children in their classrooms.  ARMED WITH SEMI AUTOMATIC GUNS!!!  Guess what?  You do not hear of school shootings in Israel.  You take all of our states in our country and the highest gun crimes are in states with the strictest gun laws.

But honestly, that's a discussion for another day.  Today....TODAY, lift these families up!  This town will have a huge amount of healing to do.  having lost someone extremely close to me...I still can not even fathom.....not my babies!  I can just hear these moms and dads crying not my babies!!!  That's what I would be crying.   So, instead of worrying about our current laws and so quick to readily give up your freedoms that many men and women fought and died for, stop....stop the bickering.  Stop the fighting.  HUG YOUR BABIES!!!  Hug them tight.  I can't imagine if this had been my kids today....after having a stressful morning and maybe hollering a little more than I should have...I can't imagine having that feeling that I left with words unspoken and tomorrow would never come...I could never take those words back.  Or go back and say, " You know baby, mommy was so frustrated this morning but I want you to know that no matter what...not matter what you do, I will ALWAYS love you!!  Nothing you could do or say could change that!"  I can't imagine knowing that I didn't have tomorrow........

God help us!

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